A Gilded Cage is Still a Cage
by Swa-Sa Masou
Summary: This can either be stand-alone or a prequel to my other story Anniversary Nights. Padme survives child-birth. How does she move forward? How does Anakin/Vader?


_**A/N: This can either be the prequel to Anniversary Nights or a stand-alone. As always, I don't own Star Wars. Unfortunately, that honor belongs to Disney- RIP Mara Jade Skywalker.**_

"Will you be needing anything else for the evening, Mistress Padme?" The protocol droid who took his title very seriously stood nervously, as though a droid could be nervous, in the doorway to her children's room. He plugged in and powered down each night in the bedroom of her twins, but Anakin had installed a few extra security measures in his feet and eye sockets to prevent intruders even in his sleeping state.

Smiling at the droid who had now become so much a part of her family, Padme replied, "Threepio, you can power down for the night. Luke and Leia are safely asleep and I'll be right in if either one of them awakens. Thank you." She watched him plug himself in and then the bright orange light turned to a dim yellow before she shut the door with a soft hiss.

The lights of the city were mesmerizing tonight. It was hot, much hotter than it should have been for this time of year. Something with the climate control of the region must have been on the fritz. Just another job that the new government was failing to oversee properly.

She couldn't understand how so many things were slipping through the cracks of this newly created Empire. For all practical matters of the moment, it was being run exactly the same as the republic. Several senators had immediately resigned their positions and hundreds said that they would as soon as the transition had become complete to ensure that their people would suffer as little as possible during the transition. By and large, however, the government was pragmatically the same. Ideologically, everything was changed and knowing that there was no longer any freedom to voice disagreements without fear of harsh reprisals up to, and including, execution gave her a deep feeling of regret for her role in it.

Unintentionally, Padme had been among those to resign just as the transition started. She had given birth to her son and daughter. The father of her children was in direct service to their new Emperor. The queen saw no other way to act than to ask for Padme's resignation. It hurt, but it made all the sense in the system. She would need some time to recover and the queen wanted to see that she got her maternity leave. It would help with the transition if Naboo wasn't going back and forth between senators so frequently as everyone got settled.

* * *

Oh, Apailana was wonderful with her words and made everything sound so sweet. She was just so concerned for Padme and her kids. The people of Naboo would of course want their former queen and senator to be resting and spending time with her new family in these trying times. Sithspit. Padme had been in politics long enough. After the official meeting was done, Padme had asked for a brief private audience. Apailana agreed and must have known that Padme wanted it off the record since as soon as the door was closed, the guards were all dismissed, the ceremonial Queen wig was removed, and cameras turned off.

"This is about the position the father of my children holds in the empire?" Padme accused, ice heavily present in her tone

"Yes." Apailana wasn't one to mince words in private. Any flowery speeches were written by someone else. She was all pragmatism.

Being equally frank, Padme deepened the assumptions about what was being leveled against her, "If you had known I was married and pregnant before all of this happened, if I hadn't been secretive from my queen, would I still have my job?"

"No." Taken aback by that answer, Padme almost asked another, but she was willing to wait out her queen to get a more concrete answer from her. Sighing, Apailana continued. "I am not punishing you, Padme. Truth be told, which I will deny if you ever speak of it, I find this all to be incredibly romantic and tragic. This is solely about the message it sends from Naboo. The Emperor is from here. If I allow you to keep your position with you married to the second in command, it all begins to look like a conspiracy. One that Naboo was at the very least complicit in, which is not the legacy that I will allow Naboo to have going into these dark times. It taints your career as a senator as well, surely you see that!"

Adopting a slight smile, as she could see where her colleague came to these conclusions, Padme quietly and calmly approached her. "Thank you, for the honesty, Dashe." She gently laid a hand on the young woman's arm. "I promise you that my allegiances remain with the Republic, and with the people of Naboo. You may still call on me for counsel, or for anything else you might need if you find that from time to time that headpiece gets a little too heavy."

The queen smiled back at her, "Thank you, Padme. I will remember that. Now go. Even in our darkest of times, you have always brought joy to the people of our system. Bringing your children here for them to see is another example. Cheer the people. Let them see you with your family."

* * *

It had been three months since she had left Naboo, twins in tow, under Anakin's protection along with half a dozen imperial guards.

After she had been discharged from the medical facility on Polis Massa, Padme had insisted upon going to Naboo. She needed to meet with the queen and she needed her family. Anakin had been understandably upset by this. He had insisted that he needed to be back at Coruscant and he needed her there with him. She had ended up winning that argument as who is really going to blame a mother with two newborns for going to visit her own mother?

Her exchanges with Anakin during her time on Polis Massa, the times he came to see them, which were frequent, while she stayed with her parents, and on the trip back to Coruscant were odd. Sometimes they were doting parents together, not getting enough sleep from worrying over and about their children. Sometimes they both remembered the circumstances and events of the previous few months and that they were on staunchly opposite sides. Whenever he yelled at her in an argument, it made no difference if she had just been screaming at him as well, his anger triggered an almost automatic reaction: her hand would go to her throat. When Anakin began to notice this, he abruptly cut off and his face would darken.

They hadn't talked about what had happened on Mustafar. She couldn't bear to bring it up to him. She couldn't believe that his jealousy ran so deep that he would choke her. She couldn't bring herself to imagine what had transpired between Obi-wan and Anakin after she had lost consciousness. She remembered begging him to believe her that she had not betrayed him and her next memory was waking up in his arms as he carried her to her ship.

Her love for Anakin was strong, but could she love Vader? The man he had to be for the rest of the galaxy?

The one slightly positive thing Padme could summon about Anakin's fear-inspiring demeanor for the rest of the galaxy was that it had had no effect on her parents or sister. Upon opening the door to Anakin a few days after her arrival, he entered completely dressed in black, lightsaber easily visible, intense black cape swirling behind him and what does her father do? He starts his conversation with the man who will likely be Emperor with the words, "son, we need to have a talk." And Anakin actually looked chastised.

When she asked him about it later, he gave her a quick recap: it was mostly about his disappointments in what Anakin had done to Padme and that they had both kept this a secret for so long from all of them. Padme was shocked as her father had never leveled any accusations against her. Anakin laughed, "he said that you had always been headstrong and all about keeping information concealed if you thought it would lead to safety, but he expected better from me. The truth comes out, right?" Padme had hit him with a pillow for that remark.

Jobal simply made dismissive sounds whenever Padme would hand one of the infants to Anakin. Sola made sly, subtle comments about the empire and about him splitting his duties to be a father at every turn.

Now, with the twins 6 months old, Padme was having to adjust to a new reality again. The news had broken yesterday morning to the public, but Anakin had come to tell her the night before.

* * *

She had been frantic. She had laid down for a few minutes, with Threepio and Artoo watching the twins in their playpen. She could see the playpen from her bed and hadn't imposed any of the extra security features for the apartment like she always did if she was going to be taking a nap. When she awoke, the sun had shifted noticeably. She first glanced at the chrono to see that it was an hour later, and then glanced toward the playpen-which was empty, with the shutdown bodies of the two droids sitting uselessly beside it.

She had commed Anakin a thousand times by the time that her head of security arrived to do a sweep of the apartment for signs of a forced entry and they had started to set up a post for if a ransom call came in when Anakin finally responded that he had their children. "They're safe. I have them. We'll all be there in a few minutes. Send everyone home."

Padme did as he told her, but she was still pacing nervously when Anakin appeared in her doorway looking weary and about ready to crack. She rushed to the carriers to see both of her children fast asleep and, presumably unharmed.

He slowly walked past her and up the stairs promising to tell her everything once they were safely transferred to their beds.

As she exited their room, she was reluctant to let them out of her sight. She didn't even close the door, though she did set all the normal alarms. Anakin was sitting on the bed, head in his hands. She sat down quietly next to him and ran a hand soothingly up and down his back.

She wanted to be patient whenever Anakin was like this, but her children had been taken and she needed answers, dammit. "Anakin, what happened? Where were they?"

"I killed him." The deadpan answer didn't really answer any of her questions. She urged him to explain more. "He had them. Palpatine. He even made some remark about how beautiful you looked on this bed as he came to get them. He used the force to make sure you would stay asleep while he gathered them up and left with them. He had them, sitting in their carrier seats, on his desk behind him when he called me into his office. I had the brief moment of picturing him placing them in their seats and would have found if comical if it wasn't so disturbing. He said that your pull was too strong on me and that I needed a reminder. I didn't know what he meant by that. They are children, Padme. They are wholly defenseless and he was using them as a threat. I killed him. I don't even remember what happened. I erased the security footage and used a blaster to create some blast-points so that if there's an investigation it won't look like a lightsaber killed him. I tried to protect you and them in this Padme, but I don't know what's going to happen. Force!" He stood up and knelt in front of her. "Everything I've done has been for you and for my love of you and them. I killed the man who taught me how to save you when you gave birth to Luke and Leia. I don't know what's going to happen," his voice broke, he began to sob into her lap and all she could do was hold him. She softly stroked his hair. that comment stayed with her.

She wasn't sure she would ever forget "taught me how to save you."

* * *

Now, she had to get used to Emperor Skywalker. He had ditched the name Vader in favor of his mother's last name for his title, an irony not lost on Padme, but apparently lost on him. The humble, kind, and gentle Shmi Skywalker would never have endorsed the idea of her son becoming an emperor and subjecting others to his will after the life she had lived. Padme had only known her for a few days, but everything about her had radiated kindness and a desire to help those less fortunate. Even as most people would claim that few were less fortunate than she was as a slave, she had a roof over her head, walls to block out the sand storms, and food on her table. She was willing to share all of it. Having assumed the throne, the extravagant palace, which could take hours to explore if traversed on foot, Padme could only assume that Shmi would be ashamed of how Anakin was currently living.

Being ripped violently from her memories and from her day-dreaming, or, really night-dreaming while awake as it was well into the evening, Padme noticed movement to her right. She quickly reached toward the drawer beside her bed and gripped the blaster, seeking to train its sight on any possible intruder. She had security of course, but she had been trained in use of a blaster when she was queen and she would always feel safer with one at her side.

Upon realizing that it was her husband crouched in the corner, Padme lowered the blaster, checked the charge, and placed it back into the drawer with the safety on. The drawer was only coded to open to her hand anyway, so the barely sitting twins wouldn't be able to open it even if they were within reach, but she always checked that the safety was on before placing it back inside the drawer.

"What do you want? Why are you here again, Anakin?" She said the words roughly. She had expended all of her patience for him the previous night comforting him. Now that he was officially the emperor and had rebuffed all of her offers to help him restore the republic to what it had been before the war, she had little left to say to him. He had offered her everything- all he knew and understood was the military movements- everything else would be at her fingertips. She had refused outright. She was a Senator for the sovereign system of Naboo and would continue to act as such even after her resignation. There was no way to convince her that the entire galaxy could be ruled by a few, even with the help of thousands. She wanted freedom restored to the people and when he refused, she refused to help.

"Padme, I'm here because I need you." Anakin pierced her with his bright blue eyes, eyes she had gotten lost in while making love more than once, eyes that she had sought refuge in from everything else. He stepped closer to her until he had one hand tightly at the small of her back and one hand tangled in her hair. He dipped her low and her arms wound around his neck for support. Their kiss was deep and long, but broke off to a seething Padme.

"You can't just do that! Anakin! We are not the same couple that we were before we had our babies. We are not the same couple that we were even two nights ago! I could forgive you then. I could chalk it up as you were being manipulated. That you had no choice. That Luke, Leia, and I were being threatened. But now? Now you're the most powerful singular being in the galaxy and you're not setting things right. You're not getting rid of any of the oppressive policies that Palpatine put into place. You're not listening to me! Anakin, what happened?" The tears that she always kept behind a mask, usually even from her husband were pricking at her. She could feel the pressure building. She would not let them fall.

He had not taken a step back. He had not lost his contact with her. He actually found it quite impressive that she could maintain her anger at him in such close proximity. He had always known that she was stronger mentally than he was, but he was unable to think of anything but desire and longing and love when he was this close to her. "What am I thinking? I was thinking that I did all of this for you. I did everything for you and for our children." He gripped her hips tightly and brought her flush with himself. "I desire nothing more than for us to be together and for us to make our world the way that we want it to be. But if we relinquish this power then we are subject to the whims of others. We can keep the ultimate power with us and then we are pawns to no one but ourselves, Padme, we can make things the way we want them to be!" His breathing had gone ragged. His eyes held the same fanaticism as they had on Mustafar, right before he accused her of turning against him. She couldn't believe that he was still in this line of thinking, months later.

"Anakin," she said with a heavy heart. She would always long to comfort him. She would always hunger for his touch, but her mind had to overpower everything else in her. "I think you should leave. We can continue this discussion on well-rested minds and on less emotionally charged timetables."

He stood in front of her as if made of stone. He had barely taken a step back, so she put the needed space between them. Backing up until the back of her legs bumped the bed, she shook her head at him, "What is this, Anakin? Why did you come here tonight? Don't tell me it was to have the same conversations as last night all over again."

Instead of answering, Anakin moved to the other side of the bed, the side that used to be deemed his and sat down. He pulled off of his boots and unfastened his vest, leaving the leather pieces falling to the floor. Padme had followed his progress thus far but was too stunned to speak at first. "What are you doing? I asked you to leave!"

Getting up and striding confidently across the room to the chest of drawers, the one that had two drawers whose contents had always been Anakin's during the first three years of their marriage. "You said that we should talk tomorrow when we're better rested. The twins are already asleep here and since we're both here, the most obvious solution is that I should just stay here as well." He smiled as he opened the drawer to see the soft cotton pants and tunic he wore to bed here, when he bothered to wear much of anything at all. "My things are still in this drawer, so I'll take that as a standing invitation until I find otherwise." His smile was more wolfish than the kind one Padme usually saw.

She spluttered, unlike her normal composure. Anakin always was the only one who could drive her this crazy. "I've had two infants to take care of, Anakin! I'm sorry that clearing out your old clothing was hardly the first priority." Regaining her confidence and composure, she continued with more than a little venom in her voice, "Besides, until last night, I thought you could be redeemed. Palpatine was calling the shots and you were his pawn. You were being manipulated. Now what is your excuse? I don't want you here, Anakin. I would like you to leave." She crossed her arms and sat down in a huff. She watched as the words hit Anakin and wiped that grin off his face. It would have been supremely satisfying if at that moment Leia hadn't started crying.

Setting the pants he'd retrieved from the drawer on the foot of the bed, Anakin headed for the door before Padme could move from her spot. "If you'll excuse me, one of my children is crying and I know you've had a trying day." He saw her about to protest and cut her off, "Padme, you've never stood in the way of me being a father to my children." He keyed open the door and picked up his young daughter, catching her before her noise awakened her brother.

* * *

Padme rolled over and stirred from her sleep. She looked around the room for the source of the noise that had awakened her and was greeted by the unwelcome sight of Anakin lying next to her. That understanding shook all sleep from her system and she realized that he had an arm thrown over her hips. He was breathing hard and talking in his sleep. This wasn't an unfamiliar scene. She had seen this when she was pregnant. Most nights he had some type of nightmare. She thought about waking him and reminding him to leave, as she hadn't actually invited him to this bed but had fallen asleep while he tended to Leia. She decided to listen. She could admit to being curious. He only had these dreams about those whom he loved and when they were in a type of danger. Now that she had given birth to their children surely she wasn't in danger any more. Palpatine was dead, so he couldn't be a threat. Obi-wan and Ahsoka were the only ones that she could think of him ever caring for in the past and while she had no knowledge of Ahsoka's whereabouts, she knew that Obi-wan wasn't someone Anakin was likely to have a moment of anxiety over any more.

"No! Don't touch them. No. Leave them be. No, Padme, no. She's no. They're- no."

She'd heard enough. He was still dreaming about them. It was a normal nightmare, he was just reliving the past few days. "Anakin." She reached out and shook his shoulder, turning over under the blanket and moving his arm off of her. "Anakin"

His eyes snapped open and locked with hers. "Padme!" He leaned forward on the cybernetic arm and crushed her to him with his flesh one. "You're safe." He buried his face in her shoulder and ran his fingers through her hair.

She pulled back and saw the lingering fear from the dream still shimmering in his eyes. She couldn't let this happen. He could not claw his way back to her heart, not when he was destroying everything she had worked for her entire life. She turned away from him.

Still leaning up on his arm, he reached tentatively for her shoulder before lightly setting his hand on the strap of the thin nightgown she wore. This scene was so familiar and yet so very different. He was different. She had to keep that thought foremost in her mind in such intimate settings. "Padme, it was dreams again. Like the ones I had about you before Sidious taught me how to save you. Like the ones I had about my mother before it was too late to save her."

She refused to turn around. She longed to comfort him, but what danger could there really be? Padme swiftly stood up, letting the blankets fall from her and lay in a mess next to her husband and trail toward the floor. "Anakin, there is no threat any more. You cannot use this to get us back to where we were. I won't allow it."

Eyes flashed hurt before his entire face hardened into an impenetrable mask. "You think I'm lying?" He asked incredulously. He also stood up and stared down at her. "Tell me, you've seen me after these visions more than once, does it seem like I'm lying?" He shifted to grasp her hand, but she pulled it away, "I've sat, curled in a ball grieving and you've held me as I told you about the despicable things I've done. I've lied about them before trying to protect you from the knowledge of the vision and you saw through it. You held me again." He fell to his knees in front of her. "I fell to my knees just the other night and you comforted me through past my worst fear- losing you, losing our children. And now, you think I'm lying?"

Swiping at the tears that were falling, betraying the cool mask she had tried to slip over her real feelings, Padme took a deep breath. "I think there is very little that Vader wouldn't do to try to control me. I also think that I told you that you're not welcome here tonight. You should leave."

Anakin stood and Padme refused to make eye contact with him. "Vader," he whispered it softly, as though he had more to say but thought better of it. He stooped quickly to grab the cloak he'd abandoned much earlier as he went to the veranda.

Padme neither knew nor cared how he left considering the distinct lack of a speeder. She opened the nursery door and looked down at her children. Her perfect children. They slept, so innocent. So peacefully unaware of the turmoil of their parents. "My little loves," she stroked the plump cheeks of Luke and gently took Leia's hand, "I will do what's best for you, even if it means leaving my heart here."

* * *

Anakin POV

He stared at the busy lanes of traffic of Galactic City- Imperial Center, he had to once again remind himself of the name change that Palpatine had put into place. He didn't want to look at his desk. He had already delegated much of the administrative work to others- among them Bail Organa who was sure to put as many loopholes in governmental power in place as he could. Anakin didn't care. He was commanding military forces to bring the last of the separatists in line. Those orders had all been taken care of. The relief work, which he had been hoping to hand over to his wife he had assigned to Mon Mothma. Two of Padme's closest Senatorial friends were among his chief advisors and had top positions in the galaxy. She refused to see that as a good thing when the power still wasn't truly in the hands of the people. He needed to have the ultimate say-so in important matters so that he could keep his family safe.

And that was the paper that waited for him on his desk. That was the reason he didn't want to turn around. Four days ago, Padme had thrown him from their marriage bed, had called him Vader, and he hadn't had the courage to face her since then.

This piece of flimsi came to his desk this morning. It was a flight plan for Padme's cruiser to Theed. She was leaving, then. That wasn't a surprise. It was an emotional time and she would want to be with her family. No, the disturbing piece of information was about the piece of flimsi next to it. The one that showed one, Sola Janren, as having taken a transport from Theed to Imperial City. Sola had not hidden her disdain of him during their time together on Naboo and her presence couldn't be good for their marriage. Why would she be coming here if Padme was going to Naboo the next day?

It appeared he would get his answers sooner than later as he felt a familiar presence making its way down the hall. Moments later, the doors to his office slid open and in marched Padme, waving for Panaka to stay outside.

"I'm leaving." Her face was set. Her tone brooked no argument. It wasn't an order, it was a simple statement of fact and her look dared him to contradict her.

Standing up and lifting the sheaf of paper bearing her flight plans between them, he tried to keep his voice even, "I assumed as much when this crossed my desk this morning." Her face paled slightly but her determination never wavered. "You didn't really think that you could make plans to leave without it coming to my attention, did you?"

She placed her hands on her hips, clearly annoyed that he knew about her plans beforehand. She was doing a good job of hiding it physically, but her force signature was broadcasting just how she actually felt about the situation. "Whether it came to your attention or not, I am leaving. You can't stop me, Anakin."

He raised an eyebrow at that. He paused long enough to lean against his desk and cross one booted ankle over the other, "Anakin? I thought I was Vader to you now. When can I expect you back?"

Color rising in her cheeks, Padme's tone turned icy, "I thought it best that I remind both of us that I am speaking to you, wife to husband in this case as I tell you- I. Am. Leaving. I'm not coming back, Anakin. Sola is here now, preparing Luke and Leia for the trip and helping me pack up my belongings that I don't want left here."

Leaving? What was she saying? "Padme." He walked toward her and was hurt even more when she took a step back, though he shouldn't have been surprised. "You can't be leaving. You can't take Luke and Leia away from me! You can't take yourself away from me! I can't protect you if you're not here!" He began to pace, "I won't let you."

All doubt had fled Padme, it was clear to him that she was just infuriated now. "Let me, Anakin? Let me? You can't stop me and you know it. If I want to get off-planet, I will. Luke and Leia will come visit you when they're older and you're welcome to come to Varykino to visit them."

He planted both hands on his desk. He was breathing heavily. He couldn't meet her eyes until she said 'Varykino.' "Varykino, Padme? You're not only ripping my family from me, but you're taking them to the place where we fell in love, where we said our vows? Vows that you're now breaking?! Haven't I lost enough?"

His voice rang throughout the otherwise silent room. Padme strode toward him and set her hand on his shoulder, "There's still a way to fix this. Renounce your position. Set things back on track to let the Republic take over again and come with us. I'm not saying it will be easy, but we could make it work. I've lost everything I've ever worked for because of you and these choices. You can't blame anyone but yourself for this. Change the course you're on now, or lose us forever." She stood back up straight and the softness he'd briefly felt from her evaporated.

Hanging his head, Anakin spoke softly to the desk, "I can't." He lifted his head and straightened up to lock their gazes together. Hard brown boring into devastated swirling blue. He grasped her upper arms, roughly enough to startle her but not enough to cause any pain or discomfort. "I can't, Padme. Didn't you listen to what I said in our room? It's not safe. If I let go of this power, I'll lose you!"

Swatting his hands away and stepping back, Padme answered harshly, "You're losing us anyway, Anakin! You can't guarantee my safety no matter where I am any more than anyone ever can!" She held out her hand, "this is your last chance, come with me now or watch me walk out of your life."

He looked from her hand to her face. The face that haunted his dreams since he was 9 years old. This couldn't be happening. He maneuvered around her hand and swept her into a kiss. She kissed him back, hands threaded in his hair. His heart was so full. He couldn't let her leave him. He pulled back slightly, both of them breathing heavily. "Padme, give me one night. Just one more. If it doesn't feel like it used to, then I'll let you leave. Please, let me prove to you that we're still us. That I still love you. That we can still make this work."

Sliding her hands down his arms, tears brimmed in Padme's eyes. "Anakin-"

He cut her off and ran his thumbs over her knuckles. "One. Night. Padme, I promise you."

She backed away, "I'll be back at 1800, Anakin. One night."

He watched her walk away and began to plan for all the things he would need tonight.

* * *

Anakin wore his best, disregarding his Jedi formal wear and Padme looked stunning as she was escorted into his suite of rooms at the Imperial Palace. Anakin had worked for the last two hours making sure everything was perfect.

The two sat in front of the fire, reminiscing, feeding each other shurra fruit and enjoying more blossom wine than Anakin thought he had ever seen Padme drink. They talked of the future they could have with their children. They both purposefully avoided talking of the Empire and its future.

They laughed.

The danced.

They basked in each other's presence.

They made love, more than once, declaring their love for one another.

They fell asleep securely holding each other

And..

Anakin awoke the next morning alone.

The note that lay on the now unoccupied pillow was simple.

"I love you, Anakin. Endlessly. It doesn't change anything. Goodbye."

His door commed and he slid on a cloak, still clutching her note.

An Imperial official was standing at the door. "My lord, a Naboo cruiser that requires your permission to enter the atmosphere is requesting permission to take off. Shall I stop them?"

Swinging around the look at the view of 500 Republica and its hanger bay, which he had chosen the suite of rooms specifically so that he could see, he took a deep breath and let it out. "No, captain, let it go."


End file.
